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Post by WackyAnne on May 2, 2014 18:47:43 GMT -9
This is a very difficult post to write. Over the last year I have found a second home here at the Cardboard Warriors, and while I may never meet any of you in person, there are more than a few who I would call friend, equal to any made face-to-face. If you feel in any way that you can count yourself among my friends, please continue. In any case, it may explain my absence or reduced presence over the next little while. The last few weeks have been truly devastating to our family. First, we lost our finished basement for the second time in 5 years to flooding, and had to spend hours and days bailing, pumping, salvaging, trashing, and emptying out the basement ourselves before we were able to determine we were once again eligible for some insurance coverage. After the first 24 hours, and a sleepless night, my husband was called back into work for an “urgent” but merely “technical” meeting. He was then told his employment contract wasn’t being renewed, that he would be paid until the end of the month, but that he had to clear his stuff out immediately. Incredible news, given that he and his work is what convinced the Faculty of Nursing to expand their IT contract from part-time to full-time plus a full-time student. However, while basements can be rebuilt, and jobs regained or replaced, our next loss cannot. This Wednesday we learned that our baby had died in my womb, around the time of the other events. This latest news is something that we can never truly recover from. We hadn’t even had the chance to announce our then-good news to most of our family and friends, after trying for more than a year for this child. This baby was hoped for, longed for, planned for, worked for, and loved before ever conception created a body to house the soul. Our baby was always held, always loved, and will always be missed, most strongly by myself, my husband, and our two loving boys. I’d hoped to be spending this month telling you guys the good news, joking with fatdragontom that we’d kickstarted an equally important project the same time as Ravenfell, that there’d be a rush with Reaper Bones II to see who delivered first to our house, that it’d be a gamble as to whether my belly or the turkey would be bigger by (Canadian) Thanksgiving. Instead you hear the sad before the good, and given that the hardest part is still yet to come for me, I may not be up to visiting the forums for a while, much less doing any gaming or paper craft. I ask for your compassion and understanding, and that you keep me and my family in your thoughts and/or prayers in the coming days and weeks. Thank you for your patience with the length of this post and the depth of emotion, and for your ongoing friendship. -- Anne P.S. I can probably more easily be reached via my email address ( anne dot thornton @t gmail dot com ) after this weekend.
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Post by wildagreenbough on May 2, 2014 19:20:16 GMT -9
I'll keep you in my prayers Anne. As a complete newcomer to the forum I've barely had a chance to get to know you but despite that my heart goes out to you and your husband. Love and cherish one another, you will get through this even though the hurt and pain is very real at present.
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Post by squirmydad on May 2, 2014 20:31:58 GMT -9
We'll always be here Anne. With much love, your friend in paper, -Eric
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Post by dungeonmistress on May 2, 2014 20:57:22 GMT -9
OH, Anne! Sweet Lady, I and my husband are praying for you and your family and holding you in our hearts.
If I can do anything for you...just ask.
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Post by Parduz on May 3, 2014 1:35:30 GMT -9
uh.... what i could say? In 1996 we were waiting for our first child (first month of pregnance), i was in Germany for a 2 weeks job travel, and my wife lost it. As you unluckly know, it is a sad and desperate event. At the time it seemed that we had great difficulties having a child, and after a year and half my wife accepted the fact that she had to start a cure. She bought the pack of pills and stuffs needed to it (spending a good half of my monthly salary). That boxes are still lying unopened in a far corner of our closet, my daughter is 16 yo and our son is 14 and we could'nt be more proud and happy for them.
What i'm trying to say with my poor english is that i empathize with you, as i know your pain (as much a man can "know" a wife/mother pain), but don't be afraid. Just don't give up and put yourself in all the love your husband can do. I know that what i'm saying seems just another random talking that can't scratch a bit of your life and events, but having being there wants me to repeat another time: cuddle your pain and sadness as long as you need, just fight the sense that there's no hope and that this event is a end.
My best wishes for you all.
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Post by madarchitect on May 3, 2014 2:13:28 GMT -9
It was very sad to read that. It's frightening but I've heard a few very similar stories from my other friends too in past 2 years . I'm very sorry for what you faced, and have to face now. I can only hope and wish you will return to us soon with some better news. Best wishes to You Anne and your family.
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Post by Vermin King on May 3, 2014 4:13:18 GMT -9
Anne, I am so sorry for your loss and all the troubles that hit at the same time. Know that we will be here. Know that you and your family are in our prayers. It is so very rough losing a child. My daughter died when she was just over a year old in a house fire. I can tell you that I've never been the same person that I was before. You never really get over it. But over time it changes inside you as you yourself will change because of it. As stated by others, cling to those who love you, and they will help you to get through. And you will get through. By the grace of God and with the support of those who care, you will get through.
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Post by colonelshofer on May 3, 2014 5:06:59 GMT -9
My thoughts are with you all.
CS
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Post by Nemo on May 3, 2014 5:23:35 GMT -9
I am really sorry to read this, even though I can't begin to imagine what you and your husband are going through right now. Best wishes to you, Anne, hoping to enjoy reading from you again, sooner or later.
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Post by dungeonmistress on May 3, 2014 5:54:12 GMT -9
I wasn't, at first, going to share this, but as others have shared I remember how it can help to know that you are not alone and your friends understand more deeply than you may suspect.
On July 14th, 1983, my first born and daughter of my heart drowned in my mother's swimming pool. My husband blamed me; though I could not have prevented it, and started a campaign of cruelty against me.
Now I am married to a wonderful man who makes me laugh every day and makes me feel cherished all the time.
Six months after I met Peter, we were awaiting the imminent birth of his middle daughter's (Jennifer) first child. Three days before her due date, she went in for a check up and was told the baby was dead. They waited for three days then induced labor. We still don't know he died, he was perfectly formed and beautiful.
Death can be a hard thing to understand and very difficult when it is your own child. But God calls us all home in his own time and reasons only he knows.
I was amazed at how many people came to my daughter's memorial service that I didn't know and each one had a story to tell me about how my daughter had changed their lives.
There were things learned at the funeral for Jennifer's son that changed the family dynamic for the better.
Vermin King is right. You will not get over this, we are not meant to, but you survive, you grow and you will learn to adapt. But at this time all you and your family should be doing is holding and loving each other. You will heal, physically and emotionally, the future will take care of itself for the time being. I hold you in my heart and in my prayers.
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Post by glennwilliams on May 3, 2014 6:02:38 GMT -9
My daughter went through a similar experience in her first year of marriage. She's got a wonderful nine year old son and two year old daughter, but that loss still haunts her. Please know that you are in our prayers.
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Post by wyvern on May 3, 2014 12:04:41 GMT -9
As you know already Anne, including from the posts above, some of us here have been through rather more than we care to recall or mention. We also appreciate there are no words that really help at times like this.
Hopefully though, you will know this way too that your loss is shared by us all, and that your name will be looked for among the CWF visitors list, even if you are unable to drop by or contribute as you might perhaps wish.
But most importantly, we shall await your return, however long you may need to be away.
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Post by Kimerlin on May 3, 2014 13:06:43 GMT -9
unfortunately it is very common tragedy. I myself in the mother's second child, the first died before birth. Here it happened that I do not now brothers and sisters do not. be strong! the most important thing. I will pray for you.
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Post by Dave on May 3, 2014 14:00:30 GMT -9
I wish you and your family all the best, Anne. Keep hope.
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Post by cowboyleland on May 3, 2014 14:31:32 GMT -9
I wish I had something wise to add. "Our thoughts are with you" is the best I can come up with.
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Post by lvmenes on May 3, 2014 18:40:40 GMT -9
Sorry for your loss, lady. Best wishes for you and your family.
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Post by mesper on May 4, 2014 0:50:57 GMT -9
I am sorry for your loss and other problems.
There will be always sunshine after rain - so keep hope, be strong and come back - we will be waiting for you!
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Post by hackbarth on May 5, 2014 5:04:52 GMT -9
You have here people that, for them, your happiness bring their happiness. And for this we'll be eagerly waiting news from you that all the bad things have passed and good things start to happen again. While there's little we can do, be sure that we, even if half of us are half a planet apart, care and send wishes of better days for you and yours.
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Post by mproteau (Paper Realms) on May 5, 2014 5:50:24 GMT -9
The joy and enthusiasm you bring to the forums makes it a better place, and I look forward to its return. In the mean time, whenever I sign on, I will think of you and send some warm wishes your way.
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Post by fatdragontom on May 6, 2014 4:07:54 GMT -9
I am so sorry Anne, my heart is breaking for you and your family. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
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Post by Mike H "Chugosh" on May 7, 2014 18:42:21 GMT -9
Sympathy and prayers with you.
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Post by Rhannon on May 11, 2014 4:51:06 GMT -9
Hi Anne,
I am regret and sad for you. I don't know what to say, I have no words. I hope and pray for you and your family.
Ciao
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Post by wisdomknight on May 11, 2014 5:28:06 GMT -9
Prayers sent Anne, I hope things for you and your family get better everyday.
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Post by WackyAnne on Jun 11, 2014 18:26:59 GMT -9
Thank you ever so much for the kind replies and messages you've sent me during the time of my deepest sadness. While losing our little one can never be considered a good thing, the love and support I've received throughout have strengthened my faith in my family, my friends here and elsewhere, and in my God. While there have been some further minor setbacks (I threw my back out on our 20th anniversary getaway to the seaside, kids in tow), real life is slowing getting back to "normal". I hope to leave the lurking life here and the Fat Dragon forums soon. The long anticipated and awaited sunshine and summertime has helped lift my spirits... Today helped. It was my birthday, and the sun was shining from dawn until dusk, the greenery was lush and cool, the sky blue, the air warm, and I was surrounded by my family. Despite including a funeral (a close friend of my parents) and visit to my mother's grave (who shared my birthday), it was overall a very positive day. It began with a mini-movie marathon of the new Star Trek movies (something I feel a need to chat with okumarts about), greeting the dawn, a morning nap, a quick picnic in the park with my older son and husband*, then the funeral, then my older son's school had their Summer Fun Fair and BBQ which allowed both boys and us parents to gorge on goodies and run around a playground full of activities. A brief and quiet visit to lay flowers and wish her happy shared birthday at my mother's grave ended the day. I'm so happily and summer-tired that I fell asleep putting the kids to bed. Tomorrow I'll break out the papercrafting again... it's been far too long! 8< Anne * No Picnic Adventures yet, but they are marinating in the back of my brain already... P.S. I am particularly grateful to dungeonmistress, whose kindness and enthusiasm has made me feel nurtured from afar, and that the forums have been well-served (better served! even) in my absence. wildagreenbough, too. Another Anne, yay! Two very talented ladies...
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Post by Vermin King on Jun 11, 2014 18:47:37 GMT -9
So good to hear from you again. I'm so glad you had a happy birthday. Take care of yourself and know that you are loved.
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Post by dungeonmistress on Jun 11, 2014 18:59:44 GMT -9
Happy Birthday! Wish I had known sooner, I'd have done something - don't know what, but something! WackyAnne, you are much loved here and your return to our fold is highly anticipated. wildagreenbough is a definite asset and real joy to this and other forums. Just so you know, I'm an old Trekkie from waaaaay back! I started watching Star Trek when the original series was still on the air - in black & white!!! I'd be happy to 'talk Trek' with you anytime!
So, here's a great big hug for you, all the way from the Evergreen State! @--------------------------------------------------@
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Post by squirmydad on Jun 11, 2014 20:00:46 GMT -9
Happy birthday Anne. It's very good to see you here again.
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Post by Nemo on Jun 11, 2014 21:33:36 GMT -9
Happy birthday, WackyAnne. Glad to hear things are getting a little better
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Post by Parduz on Jun 11, 2014 22:07:54 GMT -9
/me happy Happy birthday, Anne
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Post by wildagreenbough on Jun 11, 2014 22:12:04 GMT -9
Happy birthday from another Anne :} It's good to know that things are improving for you.
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